First steps are sometimes the hardest

It all started with an email. 

I finally broke. The pain in my body had gotten unbearable. My legs ached constantly. I was cranky and self conscious. I piled all the weight I worked so hard to lose back on. Once I had broken 300lbs. I even got to the mid 200’s. Not anymore. It’s all back, no matter how well I eat. 

I started limiting what I was eating. Watched what I ate. Cut out beer. Cut out sweets. Cut this, cut that… and all that happened was I hurt worse. I’m having the worst time finding a job in NC and while I’m getting sessions, they just aren’t coming fast enough. I can’t pay for things. After visiting this doctor I found when we first moved here, he gave me some rather grave news. 

I needed to find $2500, or $3500 if I could…. Ask parents, friends, family, etc. That’s impossible for me. Parents are on disability, I have no family (pretty much) and the only one with any sort of money is my other half. So… My other half did what any amazing man would do. He insisted we get married to help me get health insurance… A week later, we were married on the USS North Carolina. 

Bad news? I still didn’t get health insurance. Because he’s reserves, it takes $402 to start the health insurance, and $200 a month there after… for two people. It’s the same price for two people, as a family of ten. Tell me how that’s fair? Thanks Obama. Keep messing with the military. We appreciate it. Anyway, I digress.

I wrote the doc an email, and basically did the completely unthinkable thing for me…. I begged for help. I offered photos, me working for him, making cookies and snacks (all paleo, of course) and anything else I could in exchange for him making me feel like a human again, let alone getting me back to where I could work out and lose this god forbidden weight. A couple days later, I met with him, and he said he’d help. He promised he’d help. I saw the look in his eyes. He felt bad for me. He knew where I was coming from, and wanted to make me better-not just for me, but for my husband as well. 

Well…. The following posts are all about this journey. What I eat. What I feel. How I think. No holds barred. Yep. There’s details. Lots of details. And… here we go. 

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